2 of my 3 cats are in bed with me right now and to me I think that’s a pretty big deal
long-distance friendships are terrible because you can’t meet up with them whenever you want and hang out on any given day which is why when i’m president i’m relocating the entire human population into a 10,000,000 story skyscraper that also acts as a bridge from earth to the moon which comes with the added benefit of swinging the moon around like a fucking mace, god damn it’s gonna look so cool. what was i talking about
*closes fridge door and hears stuff fall in it*
well… sounds like a problem for the next person
i have just about had it with my mom
This show received 42 emmy nominations.
I need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great
i fell asleep on the restaurant table and my family took selfies with me